We All Have a Little Athazagoraphobia

DCF 1.0

Each person on this earth has a little bit of athazagoraphobia. We are afraid of being forgotten once we have passed on to new phases of our life or into the afterlife. Our names will be taken away with the wind and never remembered again.

I think of this more as I research my ancestors. So many of them we don’t know anything about them. We’ve never heard of them. Who was George Smith? Well, a grandfather four generations back, but nobody in family knew of him. He was forgotten.

It seems that only famous people are remembered after a generation or two. Maybe that is why we all have the athazagoraphobia. We see those forgotten and have no desire to be like them. We want to be remembered.

So how do we do that? There are a number of ways.

  • Name your descendants after you.
  • Get published
  • Be newsworthy
  • Create something

None of this means you have to be famous. Yes, those famous people are remembered. They are famous, that is why. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be remembered as well.

We might not be known on the other side of this large planet, but most of don’t want to be forgotten by those we matter to the most. We don’t want to be like four times great-grandfather whose name is forgotten. We want to have a legacy.

I’m hoping to resolve some of this in my life through two ways. One is by doing research into my ancestors. I am discovering those ancestors’ names which has become very fascinating. My name has been handed down for several generations. I knew I was named after my great-grandmother. But she was named after her great-aunt in Germany. I now know about that woman so she is not forgotten.

Another way I am fighting against this fear is to write stories. Most of them are about my family. I have taken many stories told to me down through the years and created short stories or novels on them. Those events won’t die when family does. They will go on in the minds of others.

I’m not obsessed with the athazagoraphobia in my life, but it is there. As I get older, it has become more apparent. My job is now to deal with it and satisfy as well as I can.

What are you doing to face it?

I’m Afraid of Going Insane

Now that you have read that title, you have ideas about what I actually mean. Your mind has already raced ahead to assume what this is about. You think maybe I’m hearing voices in my head. Well, maybe that is accurate since I’m a writer. Bad example.

If I have agateophobia (the fear of insanity), it is because the world makes me feel that way. Seriously, those around me act like part of the All About Eve story. You know that movie that stared Betty Davis. She has a dark past that has many questioning her sanity. When her niece comes to visit her, strange things begin to happen. Eve thinks she is loosing it only discover… Spoiler alert! She discovers that her relative is making her appear mad to obtain Eve’s wealth. In the end, Eve becomes what everyone thought of her in an attempt to administer justice.

Yes, I have an imagination. I love to think of “what if” scenarios, but I do know the difference between reality and imagination. I’m beginning to think some people do not. They create a world that doesn’t exist and pretend that it does.

I have seen this first hand. Someone recounts an event and everyone listening has their mouths hanging open. That wasn’t how anyone else remembers it! Were they all at the same event?

I’m very serious. I was told once how I was screaming over an accident with another member of the family. A frown quickly appeared on my face because I wasn’t even at the scene. Others tried to correct the person who had told the tale of my hysterics, but she would hear none of it. I was there and completely lost it. Oh, the things I do that I am not even aware of.

There seems to be quite a few things that happen that I was directly involved in but have no recollection. Seriously! People recount an event and swear I was there, I said something, or I did something. What? I wasn’t even in the state at the time. Well, it seems I can be in two places at once. I even say things that I would never even think of. It’s truly amazing.

I had one person recounting an event in which I was completely wasted. Funny how I have never been drunk and I wasn’t at the event the person swears I was at. But the story persists.

There is even the story of me nearly punching someone out. Neither me or one other person with me at the time recall anything close to that, but someone I was able to nearly get into my first physical fight.

Do you have that problem? I mean, surely I’m not alone in this crazy world! Don’t you have it where others tell you things you have said or done but you don’t remember them at all? Yes, I know there are some people who just rewrite history so they look better or others look bad. If you are one of those, I’m not talking to you. You’re not going, you are already there.

Oh, well. Guess I have to live with the created realities. Maybe we all create them. We all change what really happened to be what we want it to be! Could that be it? Then we are all insane.

Note: This is just sarcasm. I’m not making fun of those with issues. It’s just sometimes we have people telling us we have issues that we don’t have and we have no idea how to deal with them.

Angels Walk Among Us


Many of us can testify to having met angels at sometime in our lives. They might be literal angels or they are people sent to us during our times of need. I have met them and I think you have too.

What is an Angel?

An angel is a supernatural creature that mostly does good for those they encounter. That is the traditional definition. But that is not the type of angel I’m talking about here. Well maybe I am, but most of them I encounter are just special people who make a difference in my life.

These angels come in all forms and make us stop and think. They remind us to appreciate the little things in our lives.

Seeing the Angels Around Us

Believe it or not, angels are all around us. They come in forms from a butterfly passing by to the people who are there one moment and gone the next. I have met angels for no more than five minutes, but their impact has lasted decades.

Once about eighteen years ago, I decided that I would go to the grocery store with the children. Now, I managed to do grocery shopping with one child and then another. Yes, it was harder with two, but surely I could handle three. Boy, was I wrong! It was miserable. I tried to manage a cart with a baby in a car seat while keeping two toddlers in tow. I managed it out of the store, but that is when it fell apart. I couldn’t push the heavy cart with precious cargo and keep the kids from running in front of a car. A wonderful woman, my angel, was walking to the store from her car. She was sympathetic.

It wasn’t an easy decision to allow a stranger to help me with my children. But something told me that it was alright. She pushed the cart while I held onto the hands of my two older children. I still kept her in my sights in case my gut feeling was wrong, but she took the cart and my baby right to my car I had indicated. She stood by my cart as I got the children into their car seats. Then she helped me load my groceries into the trunk. Then she took the cart back into the store for me.

That was an angel. She didn’t have actual wings, but there were virtual ones there. I know it for a fact.

Other people can recount similar instances where they have met angels. They appear anywhere when we need them the most.

Watch For Angels

Life can be hard. We are caught up in the day to day struggles which can blind us to all the blessings life gives to us. How often do we miss the peaceful butterfly just a few feet away or the peeking rainbow after a dreary day? Good things are there, but we are ignore them. Even angels walk among us.

Keep an eye out for those angels. Notice who lifts your spirits even a tiny bit. They might be stranger. They might be someone you have known for years. Angels take many forms. Be thankful for them, and take their blessings with you to cherish in the years to come.

The Mystery of Alchemy


Some mysteries flow over the centuries. Some never are solved, and the passion to discover it never dies down. There is one that has persisted down through the ages. It is the mystery of alchemy.

What is Alchemy

The Royal Society of Chemistry had this to say about alchemy: “Simplified, the aims of the alchemists were threefold: to find the Stone of Knowledge (The Philosophers’ Stone), to discover the medium of Eternal Youth and Health, and to discover the transmutation of metals. To the medieval alchemist’s mind the different elements were but the same original substance in varying degrees of purity. Gold was the purest of all and silver followed closely.” (https://www.rsc.org/periodic-table/alchemy/what-is-alchemy) It has been seen as sorcery and witchcraft by many over the years. Sad to say, this filtered over into anyone who practiced any form of medicine.

Alchemy was early chemistry but done in a way that made it look shady. It sought answers that appeared to be magical. In truth, those who practiced it were the earliest chemist. They just didn’t understand what they were working with.

Playing With the Supernatural

The early years of chemistry did seem like witchcraft. The understanding of the physical world around us was limited years ago. Anything that stretched beyond the understanding of the present day was witchcraft and deserved death. That meant even the legitimate explorers of chemistry were seen with distrustful eyes.

It was all connected to magic. That was deemed evil and dangerous. It was observed as a slight against society and God. Alchemist looked into the supernatural to find the secret for long life and riches untold.

A Joy for Writers

The supernatural has always been a wonderful playground for writers. It should be. Everything is possible. There really are no rules as, to our knowledge, it is not a real possibility.

Alchemy has been dabbled in by many authors. By dabbled, I mean mentioned or highly woven into a plot. This can be a subject matter that can allow characters the ability to do so much more. Even with a book that shows alchemy as nothing but science fiction, it can add so much more depth to the plot. It is a great mystery to give all the needed twists and turns in a story.

What stories involve alchemy can you name?

Holiday Traditions I Miss From My Childhood


Most families have traditions during holiday times. They develop over the years and continue changing as the generations cycle. Some disappear completely.

Holidays go beyond Thanksgiving and Christmas. They include many days throughout the year. These all provided memories I look back on quite often.


My birthday was never a big event, but there was one thing my mother always did that was precious to me. She always made me a chocolate cake. Half had icing for my father who loved his sweets. The other half was for me without the icing. She did that every year for me when I lived at home. This past birthday, my youngest daughter made me a chocolate cake with no icing for me. That meant so much to me.


Each night before Easter, my mother would help me make a nest for the Easter Bunny. Yes, a nest. I would take my housecoat and create a snuggly nest at the foot of my bed. The next morning, I would find goodies for the famous critter. The nest was a critical part of that holiday for me as a child. I now have passed that on to my children. In fact, my youngest demanded I still do it her last Easter at home before she turned eighteen.

Fourth of July

Okay, my family didn’t do much for this holiday. We grilled out and watched the fireworks. The only thing I really remember is the sparklers we lit and ran around the yard with.


Back in the day…. Yes, I just dated myself. But when I was little, we went out trick or treating all by ourselves. My mom only accompanied me when we lived on the farm as she had to actually drive me to houses of people we knew to get that wonderful candy. Oh, the delicious popcorn ball I got at one house!!!!! Still think of how yummy that was. After we moved to a city, I went with just my friends in the neighborhood. You can’t do that anymore safely.

The best part was when I was done. I would spread my candy haul out on the kitchen table to sort. Then my father would sneak in and steal what he watned. I would yell at him. He would laugh and do it again.


This was when the family began the holiday gatherings. We usually gathered at our house and ate wonderful food. My favorite was a cranberry gelatin dish my grandfather loved. Mom made it every year even after he passed.

Aside from that one dish, I loved having the family together. We laughed. We made memories. We are continuing this with my family as we gather each year at my daughter’s to make all new memories.


This was much the same as Thanksgiving, but the memories here seem to be stronger. We always had Santa visit on Christmas Eve. I would try to spy him, but my family kept me occupied. Then I would sneak in to see my gifts from him. Such wonderful memories.

These memories became even more precious when my nieces came on the scene. We had such fun playing and being so innocent.

New Memories

As a child, I saw the world as wonderful. The innocence of a child can be strong. That is why so many childhood memories are precious to me. I loved thinking we all got along and all was well in the world. Wish it was that way again.

Why Are We Afraid of the Dark?


Many things scare us. There are so many phobias that it seems new ones are made everyday. But why is the dark so scary? It is the unknown.

Achluophobia: Fear of darkness.

The unknown surrounds us. We don’t know what will happen in the next few minutes much less the next few years. We don’t know what other people are thinking. We don’t know the truth of what is told to us. The unknown is all around us…especially in the dark.

The dark hides things. It keeps so many thing from us. We can’t see what is standing six feet from us. We might not be able to see what is a foot from us. Details are hidden from our eyes. That gives us pause. There is no way to control the world around us in the dark. Danger could be lurking in the dark.

To a degree, I love the dark. It is calming. I can’t see all the other things that stress me. My world is limited. It is as though everything beyond my visual borders doesn’t exist. Oh, so nice and relaxing.

I love to sit out on a porch at night or around a campfire. The world is small, and darkness pushes the rest away. I can breathe easier. But darkness can be scary at times.

When I’m in a place I’m unfamiliar with, the dark can be scary. When I’m in danger, darkness is not a friend. In my writing, these feelings can be put to words to ehance a scene.

How do you feel about darkness?

I Think I’m Haunted


No, I’m not crazy. Okay, maybe I am, but that is not the point here. The point is that I seriously think I’m haunted. There are voices in my head. They whisper in my ear. I have to be haunted.

In my free time, I’m a writer. That means not much time writing as I work full-time. Well, at least there is not much actual writing going on. But I hear the characters talk to me no matter what I’m doing, even moving product around the country.

Yes, I said they talk to me. I can be in the middle of processing an order for my day job. A whisper in my head creates a scene or an entirely new plot idea. I hear the characters tell me what they think should happen or how they want to develop. They don’t always agree with the way I see a story going. They tend to have their own opinions and like to voice them.

But the voices are not really why I think I’m haunted. It is the voices of past characters who keep coming back to remind me that they are not dead. Yep, their souls are still there and like to drop hints for more stories about them. Like I don’t have enough story ideas!!! They add to the list.

Characters never really leave for the fictional after-life. They stick around like ghosts. They are not solid, but their essence is there to torture you. I say torture because I have laid them to rest and moved on. But they refuse to just fade into the night. They persist to plot and scheme.

I don’t mean to complain. Their presence is not always terrifying as you expect from a haunting. There are times when they bring a smile to my face. I remember getting to know them and experiencing so many adventures with them. Oh, the memories!

Only writers can understand the idea of being haunted by fictional people. It is a most unique situations. I’m just glad my hauntings aren’t like King’s. That would be an experience I’d pass on.

I’m Only Known for Loving to Read


When you think of specific people, usually one or two things come to mind first. My brother brings to mind hunting and laughter. My cousin makes me think of anything Irish. My oldest daughter makes me think of music. This got me to thinking. What do people think of when I cross their mind.

Okay, there are a few things they think of we won’t mention here for those with delicate eyes and ears. But for those who don’t go directly there, what do they think of? Reading.

Yes, I love books. I always have. So on social media, people see funny things about books and share them with me. I do love those. But that is only what I’m known for. I am so much than that.

Think of more than my reading love!

I have a mind!

Seriously, there is more to me than books (not much but that’s not the point!).

I enjoy learning. That can come in so many forms. Documentaries are fun for me. Going to historical sites is a pleasure. I would attend school again if I could afford it. I search out anything I can learn and absorb. I’m just not a genius.

I love to crochet. Watching something beautiful (at least I hope it will) be created before my very eyes is amazing. To know that I am doing it is a miracle!

I want to feel wanted. It thrills me when someone asks me to make them something or just to spend time with me. It’s not that I have to be the center of attention, but I need to feel that my life is not wasted.

Ah, but I am an avid reader. I guess you could blame my mother for that. She loved to read though she really didn’t do a lot of it, mainly at night before she fell asleep. The farm work called to her sun up to past sun down along with the family she had ot take care of. But she made sure I was exposed to books early on. She read to me constantly. When we travelled, she bought me a book.

I remember one night when a vicious storm came through the area where we lived in an old farm house. The storm knocked the electricity out. Mom lit a hurrican lamp and sat it on the old coal stove we had in the living room for heating. She pulled out my box of books and read through the whole thing before tucking me into bed. I think I memorized those books.

I read every Nancy Drew book. It got to the point that I didn’t care what genre it was, I read it. That caused me to learn a few things early in life that I probably shouldn’t have. But I’ve enjoyed all the worlds I have explored because of books.

Okay, thinking of reading when you think of me might not be such a bad thing. I could be addicted to much worse things out there like reality shows.

My Favorite Childhood Toy


When this prompt came up, I didn’t hesitate or need to think. I knew straight away what my favorite childhood toy was. It was Molly Moo Cow.

Oh, how I loved that cow! My mother said I took her everywhere. I mean everywhere…even the bathroom.

Yes, I said the bathroom. I wish I could find the picture my mother took of this scene so you could fully understand how much I loved this toy.

When my mother was potty-training me, she had this smaller version of a toilet she put in the bathroom for my little legs to use. To help me go, she’d take me into the bathroom, sit me on the child toilet, and read to me. Well, when you love someone, you like to share your experiences. Do you see where I’m going with this?

I took Molly Moo Cow, who was a hard plastic toy that was pulled by a plastic rope, and sat her on my child toilet. I then picked up on of my favorite books and sat upon the adult toilet. Seat was down, of course. I proceeded to read to my cow who I was potty-training.

Here I want to point out that at this age, I could not read a single word. But I knew that story by heart. You’d have thought me a child prodigy if you had stumbled upon this awkward scene.

My mother thought this was such a cute sight that she took a picture and gave me a memory I would have forgotten otherwise. That cow was a wonderful companion.

We all have a favorite toy. My son’s was a stuffed whale. These toys gave us comfort and fond memories. What your favorite childhood toy?

I Think I’m Cursed When It Comes to Plans

Source: https://www.freeimages.com/photo/workflow-1457844

I’ve been told my whole life to have a plan. There should be a plan for the next ten years, five years, twelve months, next week, and today. I do try to do this. I try to be good and make a plan. Then the curse descends.

I think I call on it by writing out my plan for the day or the week. So I plan it in my head. Nope! The curse still appears. I can never do what I plan to do.

I can plan to get the dishes done today. Oh, that won’t happen. Something will interfere. I know it will because it always does. An event will be sprung upon me by my daughter. My husband will be sick and have to go to the ER. It never fails.

Once, I was told that I exaggerated the chaos in my life. Then they spent an afternoon and evening with us and were shocked. I couldn’t get anything accomplished. All I did was put out fires. By the end of the night, I couldn’t do the things I knew needed to be done.

Today, I can plan to get an article written, do the dishes, and fold laundry. When I get home, we will have to run an errand, husband will be sick, daughter will need help with homework. Then I develop a headache. Nothing gets done.

My planning has a curse on it. I’m not sure who put it on me. I’d like for them to lift it. I’d like to get things done. As I’m writing this, I am getting work done online but nothing else. That is only because I’m home sick with the stomach flu. Not what I had planned.

I’m still told that success comes from planning. What they don’t ever talk about is what to do when the planning is interfered with. That is what I need advice for.

What do you feel cursed about? What seems to always go wrong for you?