I’m Afraid of Going Insane

Now that you have read that title, you have ideas about what I actually mean. Your mind has already raced ahead to assume what this is about. You think maybe I’m hearing voices in my head. Well, maybe that is accurate since I’m a writer. Bad example.

If I have agateophobia (the fear of insanity), it is because the world makes me feel that way. Seriously, those around me act like part of the All About Eve story. You know that movie that stared Betty Davis. She has a dark past that has many questioning her sanity. When her niece comes to visit her, strange things begin to happen. Eve thinks she is loosing it only discover… Spoiler alert! She discovers that her relative is making her appear mad to obtain Eve’s wealth. In the end, Eve becomes what everyone thought of her in an attempt to administer justice.

Yes, I have an imagination. I love to think of “what if” scenarios, but I do know the difference between reality and imagination. I’m beginning to think some people do not. They create a world that doesn’t exist and pretend that it does.

I have seen this first hand. Someone recounts an event and everyone listening has their mouths hanging open. That wasn’t how anyone else remembers it! Were they all at the same event?

I’m very serious. I was told once how I was screaming over an accident with another member of the family. A frown quickly appeared on my face because I wasn’t even at the scene. Others tried to correct the person who had told the tale of my hysterics, but she would hear none of it. I was there and completely lost it. Oh, the things I do that I am not even aware of.

There seems to be quite a few things that happen that I was directly involved in but have no recollection. Seriously! People recount an event and swear I was there, I said something, or I did something. What? I wasn’t even in the state at the time. Well, it seems I can be in two places at once. I even say things that I would never even think of. It’s truly amazing.

I had one person recounting an event in which I was completely wasted. Funny how I have never been drunk and I wasn’t at the event the person swears I was at. But the story persists.

There is even the story of me nearly punching someone out. Neither me or one other person with me at the time recall anything close to that, but someone I was able to nearly get into my first physical fight.

Do you have that problem? I mean, surely I’m not alone in this crazy world! Don’t you have it where others tell you things you have said or done but you don’t remember them at all? Yes, I know there are some people who just rewrite history so they look better or others look bad. If you are one of those, I’m not talking to you. You’re not going, you are already there.

Oh, well. Guess I have to live with the created realities. Maybe we all create them. We all change what really happened to be what we want it to be! Could that be it? Then we are all insane.

Note: This is just sarcasm. I’m not making fun of those with issues. It’s just sometimes we have people telling us we have issues that we don’t have and we have no idea how to deal with them.

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